The Sorting Hat: Civil War Avengers

Welcome to the third installation of The Sorting Hat! This series was created because we enjoy imagining what would happen if characters from other fandoms were starting their first year at Hogwarts and needed to be sorted into the four houses. Sometimes it’s easy to sort someone, and other times (as you’ll see below) it takes compromise and campaigning.

For this round of The Sorting Hat, we’re tackling the characters from Captain America: Civil War. As you can see by the conversations below, we had a lot of fun (and a few disagreements) along the way!

Tony Stark/Iron Man

Teija: I feel like we’re starting with an easy one. IMO he is 100% a Slytherin
Sarah: I could make a compelling argument for Ravenclaw. But he does have a lot of Slytherin in him
Lauren: I’m…waffling… But I’m actually kind of leaning Ravenclaw…because of his stance in Civil War
Sarah: I say Ravenclaw because I think his dominating traits are his intelligence and his thirst for knowledge
Lauren: Yeah, and he tends to take an intellectual approach to problem-solving. I think he definitely does have ambition, but in AoU and I think probably in CW he seems more afraid to trust it and he resorts to logic.
Teija: I’ll concede to that

Verdict: Ravenclaw

Steve Rogers/Captain America

Sarah: Is that really even a question? He’s probably the truest Gryffindor to ever be.
Teija: With strong Hufflepuff secondary
Lauren: Yup. I have nothing to add here
Sarah: That man is all heart and courage and bravery.
Teija: It’s almost as if JKR looked to Captain America for her ideas, really

Verdict: Gryffindor

Clint Barton/Hawkeye

Lauren: Hufflepuff!
Sarah: Hufflepuff all the way
Teija: I think he’s just a Super Hufflepuff, where the other houses don’t apply really at all.
Sarah: Now I’m picturing him in a yellow and black cape
Lauren: Barton Badgers, the quidditch team that never was

Verdict: Hufflepuff

Natasha Romanoff/Black Widow

Lauren: Slytherin
Teija: Slyyyyyyyytheriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiin
Sarah: No argument here at all
Lauren: In the dictionary next to “cunning” her picture is right there. Or it probably should be.
Teija: I’m pretty sure the sorting hat would scream SLYTHERIN as soon as she walked into the Great Hall.
Sarah: Sidenote, I feel like Tasha could convince the hat to put her wherever she wanted. Which just further proves her Slytherin nature.

Verdict: Slytherin

Sam Wilson/Falcon

Lauren: Gryffindor!
Sarah: Yup
Teija: See, I wanna say Gryffindor, but then I kind of think Ravenclaw also?
Sarah: I’d put him in Hufflepuff before Ravenclaw
Lauren: I feel like his unequivocal “I’m a soldier, not a spy” self-identification points very Gryffindor
Sarah: But I say Gryffindor because it takes all the courage in the world to just straight up follow Black Widow and Captain America into battle. And he’s very headstrong and stubborn
Teija: I’ll go with the instinctual Gryffindor then and quit second-guessing myself

Verdict: Gryffindor

Wanda Maximoff/Scarlet Witch

Sarah: Slytherin is my vote, because she is manipulative and cunning and uses the way people underestimate her to her advantage
Lauren: Well….I don’t know if that’s a personality thing or a powers thing though. Like her POWERS are mind manipulation, but I don’t know if that’s who she is?
Teija: I mean. She used her powers to manipulate in AoU, but that was under someone’s command. Not of her own volition.
Sarah: But i think in order to use them as well as she does she has to have that trait already.
Lauren: She’s definitely not Gryffindor, she has to PSYCH HERSELF UP to charge into battle.
Teija: And her loyalty to her brother is preeeeeeetty apparent
Lauren: She does it out of a sense of loyalty and decency.
Sarah: True, but i think loyalty to one person is different than loyalty as a defining trait.
Teija: I’m thinking Hufflepuff, actually
Lauren: Yeah, I’m thinking her willingness to switch to helping Tony in spite of what he’d done to her and sacrifice herself for the greater good make me very hesitant to put her in Slytherin. I was about to say Hufflepuff.
Sarah: I stand by Slytherin
Lauren: Hufflepuff “loyal, hardworking, protective, caring”. I really think that fits her best
Teija: Yeah, same
Sarah: We can go with the majority here, but I don’t concede to Hufflepuff. I’m still sold on Slytherin.

Verdict: Hufflepuff

James Rhodes/War Machine

Lauren: Grrrrrrrryffindor?
Sarah: I say yes.
Teija: From what we’ve seen of him yeah
Lauren: That’s my gut.
Sarah: Similar to the reasons we sorted Sam there

Verdict: Gyffindor

Scott Lang/Ant-Man

Teija: Ok so y’all are gonna have to sort Ant-Man without me ’cause I STILL haven’t seen it (THIS IS WHERE WE PAUSE TO JUDGE HER AND TELL HER SHE HAS TO SEE IT BEFORE SHE IS ALLOWED TO SEE CIVIL WAR)
Lauren: Scott is motivated on the surface by a love for his daughter, but also a deeper cockiness
Lauren: But he is NOT defined by bravery or courage, so not Gryffindor. “I think our first move should be to call the Avengers,” is not a thing a Gryffindor would say
Sarah: But he’s also supremely intelligent
Lauren: I lean Ravenclaw
Sarah: Same, because he’d rather logic his way out than fight
Lauren: And I think his cockiness speaks to Ravenclaw. Like how he’s a thief even though he’s got a Masters in engineering just because he COULD

Verdict: Ravenclaw

Bucky Barnes/Winter Soldier

Lauren: Okay are we sorting BUCKY BARNES or THE WINTER SOLDIER
Sarah: I think The Winter Soldier is a Slytherin, but Bucky is not. I think Bucky is Hufflepuff.
Lauren: Bucky definite Hufflepuff
Teija: Yep agreed
Lauren: Winter Soldier is a brainwashed drone, so I’d actually say he doesn’t have a house?
Teija: Haha yeah Winter Soldier: Squib
Lauren: Winter Soldier is more like a curse than a person

Verdict: Hufflepuff

Vision

Lauren: RAVENCLAW
Teija: RAAAAVENCLAW
Sarah: Ravenclaw
Teija: HE’S A WALKING ENCYCLOPEDIA
Sarah: His infinity stone basically demands it
Lauren: Vision is just like Data with powers

Verdict: Ravenclaw

Peter Parker/Spider-Man

Lauren: Peter Parker is a Ravenclaw in every iteration of the character.
Sarah: Yes, yes he is
Teija: Yeah that’s easy

Verdict: Ravenclaw

T’Challa/Black Panther

Teija: T’Challa I have nooooooo idea
Sarah: Slytherin
Lauren: I’d think Slytherin assuming they don’t totally change him.

Verdict: Slytherin (What we know of his comics history, he’ll probably be a Slytherin, but if the MCU does something different with him we’re open to change.)

Sharon Carter/Agent 13

Teija: R…a…venclaw?
Lauren: We know SO LITTLE about her in the MCU. I was going to lean Gryffindor? But I don’t know.
Teija: Unless she takes after Peggy, who is more Gryffindor.
Lauren: All we have of Sharon so far is that she stands up to Hydra and then moves to the CIA . So she’s definitely brave.
Sarah: I say Gryffindor based on what little we’ve seen of her.
Lauren: I’d lean Gryffindor for Sharon based on the glimpse of her we get in TWS, but would totally concede the point if Civil War speaks to something else.
Teija: Yeah based on the teeny bit we already saw of her Gryffindor makes sense to me, too

Verdict: Gryffindor (From what little we’ve seen of her we’re leaning Gryffindor, but hopefully Civil War will clarify this for us)