And I’m back with this week’s recaps! I’ve made it all the way through Episode 10 without quitting, so I’m considering this a mini-victory. Especially after episode 7. Wow. That one was something else. Weird sex aliens are a thing, who knew? I still don’t feel like I know the crew that well and I’m not totally invested in them as characters yet. Hopefully this changes soon.
You enjoy my recaps, I’m going to go enjoy a nice cold beer in celebration.
1.6 Lonely Among Us
Wow, okay so the uniforms they are wearing to greet the visitors are hideous. Please tell me they don’t last very long.
Anyway, that aside, we now have two different alien races on board the Enterprise, yet the episode seems to be very minimally about them. Why are they even here?
Ah, okay so this is an episode where people are being possessed by a kind of weird blue lightning and then acting very strange (as you do when possessed by a weird blue lightning). First Worf, then Dr. Crusher, and finally Picard. I’m not entirely sure I understand what’s happening with Picard, but apparently the energy has convinced him that he can beam himself into the cloud and then go explore the galaxy? Right, because that will totally work.
And look, it didn’t at all. So Data uses the transporter to “put Picard back together” sorta like Humpty Dumpty. However, he never explain how he does it. How exactly does the transporter manage to do that? Bueller? Bueller? Is it even important or does it happen again?
Favorite Quote(s): “It’s elementary, my dear Riker.” – Data, after learning all about Sherlock Holmes. I appreciate that this is a thing.
Grade: 3/10 I’m still not sure why the different alien races were necessary in this ep, and I’m also getting real tired of the “someone is possessed by something and begins acting different” trope we have now experienced multiple times in only 6 episodes.
1.7 Justice
So, we’ve reached a weird sex planet where they make love at “the drop of a hat” (Spoiler, there’s always a weird sex planet in sci-fi shows, I just figured I had a few more seasons before it would show up). Everyone on this planet is weirdly tan, super blonde (with bad hair to boot), and look like they stepped out of an exercise video. Or a Nazi propaganda video. Your pick. Oh, they are also very scantily clad, yet still like to run everywhere. So. Much. Jiggling.
Not only is this a weird sex planet, they worship a “being” in the air like a god, and as a result have very strict punishment zones. If you step into a zone (even an unknowing visitor), you are immediately sentenced to death. I’m sure that we all can see exactly where this is going, especially as Wesley was on the away team. Of course he breaks a rule and of course he’s sentenced to death.
As much as part of me hoped that this would be the end of Wesley Crusher, alas, it was not meant to be. Captain Picard figured out a way around the Prime Directive (because of course he did) and ruled that protecting his crew was more important. And then everything was resolved with a simple argument of how justice can’t exist when laws are absolute. Because of course it was that easy.
Side note, can we all agree that the conversation between Worf and Riker about Klingon sex was really more information than we ever needed to know? Just me? Okay.
Favorite Quote(s): Picard’s line to Data when he asked if he’d sacrifice one life to save a thousand: “I refuse to let arithmetic decide questions like that.”
“Let’s just hope it’s not too good to be true.” – Picard. Famous last words there, Captain.
Grade: 3/10 and honestly I’m being generous with that. It’s mostly because I snorted in amusement more than once at the utter ridiculousness of the episode.
1.8 The Battle
Oh damnit, the Ferengi are back. Ugh. And still making weird comments about “females.” I’d like to punch them in the face, please.
We start with Picard having a headache, which apparently is super uncommon in the space future (and I’d like to go ahead and reach that point in the advancement of science please) and Dr. Crusher can’t figure out what’s wrong with him. I have a feeling they are being caused by something on purpose, which is really the only reason people in the space future would get one. That or Wesley has finally driven him mad. Either one.
The Ferengi appear and beam onto the ship, offering Picard a gift. A gift which turns out to be his old ship, the Stargazer. Because that’s not totally suspicious at all. I totally buy that the Ferengi are the type to just go around giving gifts to people for fun. However, this does give the perfect opening for us to learn about the “Picard Maneuver,” (http://memory-alpha.wikia.com/wiki/Picard_Maneuver) which I’m assuming comes back in the future?
Ah, so it appears that the Ferengi are messing with Picard’s head and making him relive the battle he fought in. Hence the headaches. But it’s all good, because of course Wesley is the one to figure out that energy beams from the Ferengi ship match the waves in Picard’s brain. Because Wesley is a genius Mary Sue. Again.
Favorite Quote(s):
Dr. Crusher: “Why do doctors always say the obvious as though it’s a revelation?”
Picard: “Why do captains always act like they’re immortal?”
The sexual tension, it burns.
Grade: 6/10 I’d honestly have given it a 7 except for the fact I dislike the Ferengi that much. So, that’s that.
1.9 Hide and Q
This episode title is a pun and I do so love puns, so I’m hoping this bodes well for the quality of the ep. Also Q is back, so we are obviously in for interesting times.
Q has devised a sort of game for the Starfleet crew (because of course he has) and sends Riker, Data, La Forge, Yar, and Worf to a Class-M planet where they are to participate in a “deadly game.” And any penalties committed in the game cause someone to be sent to the penalty box, aka back the Enterprise (where Picard has been left alone). No surprise to me that Yar is the first to receive a penalty.
Q soon returns to the bridge wearing his fancy french military uniform and makes a deal with Picard, if Q succeeds, Picard will give up his command; if he doesn’t, Q will never bother humanity again (suuuuuuure, cause I totally believe that).
Here’s where things get interesting, Riker and Q chat and Q informs Riker that he has the power of a Q and can send everyone back to the ship whenever he wants. Apparently the Q-Continuum have become so curious about humanity that they want Riker to join them. Riker refuses, but as the away team is attacked by fake French soldiers and Worf and Wesley are killed, he gives into temptation and returns them all to the ship. And back to life (dammit, Wesley).
Despire promising Picard that he won’t use his powers, Riker goes a little overboard by granting some of the crew’s wishes. Wesley is aged ten years (and whoa that was freaky), Geordi’s eyes are fixed, and Worf gets a mate? A sex partner? Some sort of female Klingon friend? Yet, Riker soon realizes that Picard is right (shouldn’t this just be the default) and refuses his gift, restoring everyone to their proper form. And Q is transported away. Because he lost the wager.
Favorite Quote(s): “When one is in the penalty box, tears are permitted.” – Captain Picard
Data: “Sir, how is it that the Q can… handle time and space so well, and us so badly?”
Captain Picard: “Perhaps someday we will discover that space and time are simpler than the human equation.”
Grade: 5/10 As excited as I was about the pun, this episode didn’t quite live up to my expectations. It felt like it wrapped up too neatly for all of the things that were happening.
1.10 Haven
This appears to be a Troi-centric episode and honestly I can get behind that. I am intrigued by her and I really do want to learn more. Except… not through her leaving Starfleet for an arranged marriage to Wyatt, a human male (not a betazoid) with a terrible mother. (Seriously, both of their mothers are AWFUL). But, I don’t quite get why she has to leave Starfleet, aren’t we in the space future where those sexist social constructs are long over? That’s what I was told. I’m annoyed.
Anyway, this episode was just so predictable. Troi argues with her mother, who is a full Betazoid, barely bonds with her husband to be, and has a sexual tension filled moment on the holodeck with Riker. Which really, let’s go back and explore that some more please. Because I’m pre-disposed to be on this ‘ship thanks to Teija and Lauren.
After some bickering with their parents over whether they will have a betazoid wedding or a human wedding (spoiler: betazoid weddings apparently happen while naked, so points in their favor?), Wyatt and Troi talk, but there are zero sparks. Surprise. However we learn that Wyatt has been seeing visions of a beautiful blonde since he was a kid. And this beautiful blonde is on the approaching ship. In a ridiculous belly dancing outfit? Because, of course she is. He beams over. Troi stays. And the episode ends.
Seriously. It was resolved that easily. And quickly. headdesk
Favorite Quote(s):
Troi: “Stop this petty bickering, all of you! Especially you, Mother!”
Data: “Could you please continue the petty bickering? I find it most intriguing.”
Grade: 4/10 I am starting to like Troi more, but this episode wasn’t the best way to put her front and center. Plus it was just so boring and tropey.